


One Student's Struggle with Dating Online

by SonicoSenpai



Series: Just the Smut Please [11]
Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Horror, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Calculus, Catboys, Consensual Sex, Did I mention poor decisions?, First Time, Horror, IRL v Online, Konoe has a dirty MewTube channel, M/M, Masturbation, Messing Around, Online Soft Porn, Public Display of Affection, Real Life Meetings, Rich Cats and Poor Cats, Safewords, Sex and Tech, Sexting, Slightly Creepy Sex, Voyeurism, Yes I just tagged this fic MewTube, poor decision making
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2020-07-11 15:37:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: In this Lamento - Beyond the Void contemporary AU no one asked for, Konoe is a freshman at the University of Sisa in Ransen. He is on scholarship because of his musical ability. He possesses the now rare gift of the Sanga--the power to enchant listeners with song.Part of his general education requirements include calculus, and Konoe is struggling in that class. He has a serious crush on the tall, white cat who is the TA, however.In addition, Konoe has a well-paying side job with his MewTube channel. He sings and does just about anything he is asked to on camera--for pay. He finds out that his mystery sponsor might be able to tutor him, and goes for it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this fiction seriously. It's LaCroix-flavored canon since my characters are in a futuristic setting. Also, do NOT mimic their poor decisions.
> 
> I will probably be adding more tags later.
> 
> Also, I should add this fic is the result of my writer's block. Reader beware!

“Konoe, you don’t even know if he is who he says he is.” 

That’s my friend Tokino, lecturing me about my latest crush. I met him online—and I don’t know his real name. It’s all right because he doesn’t know mine, either. He subscribed to my MewTube channel and asked me to stream something for him privately. He actually paid me—and at first, he was so nice, and he wasn’t asking me to do anything weird or even sexual. He just asked me to talk—saying specific things. He likes my voice. But when I suggested taking off my shirt or touching myself, he paid even more for that.

When I stream, I don’t show my face, but I’m sure he can see the color of my tail and my hair. But my caramel-tipped white fur is nothing special. And lots of cats with my color fur are also ash blonde, just in case he can tell from the fur below my navel, or if the tips of my hair show up on my shoulders.

I don’t know anything about my benefactor, except that he has money to throw away on people like me, and that he’s very kind and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when he writes.

It hasn’t occurred to me till now that Tokino might be jealous. Not of my online relationship, but because I actually have a _sponsor_. He’s still talking, but I’ve tuned him out—trying to remember exactly what Sterling posted on my feed two days ago. I'm supposed to meet him online again today. But I am back on the planet now, and Tokino’s voice sinks into my ears, and my brain processes the information slowly.

“… I mean, he could be some old man, some pervert, who is just _waiting_ to ask you to strip or jerk off on your feed. I get that you need the money, but come on! This is just _unsafe_!” 

“Are you jealous? Because I have an actual sponsor and you don’t?” I have, in fact, stripped and jerked off online for him. I just did the last time I was online and it was so fucking hot!

Tokino and I are walking to class on campus (I’m a freshman at the Sisa’s public university at Ransen) for our first-semester calculus course. I am struggling with the concepts. Today is the lab, where we spend time with the teaching assistant. This is my third week in the class, and I get the impression the TA does _not_ like me. I find him both terribly intimidating and weirdly, extremely attractive. I wonder if that is noticeable and he takes offense at my attraction. My stomach is upset as we walk together. I’d much rather go home and stream a video feed than sit in class, opening myself up to the risk of having to actually answer a question in real life. The lecture portion of the class is 400 students, so I don’t run that risk. But this section is only 30 students, and I've been called on several times and sounded really stupid.

“That really isn’t it, Konoe,” Tokino replies. “It’s not about the money. I mean, my channel is something totally different.” It is. Tokino does movie reviews on his channel. He’s good. He wants to go into film. But then again, he works at his father’s store when he isn’t at school or online, so he doesn’t have to worry so much about money. 

I mean—I’m on scholarship here. I’m an orphan and the first to go to college in my family (well, I never met my dad and mom said he never went to college). I got great grades in high school and excelled in music—arranging, composing, and even performing. Apparently, there is something special about my voice. I had to audition for the spot, and I got the scholarship because of that special talent. However, that _doesn’t_ mean I’ll be good at math. If I don’t pass this class with at least a B, I run the risk of losing my scholarship. I’ll have to take it again and it will put me a semester behind. On the other hand, I have heard the other TAs are much friendlier, so I might do better the second time around.

When we arrive at the classroom, even though my stomach is already nervous and upset, I’m relieved I don’t have to continue listening to Tokino’s lecture. He’s a big proponent of security—specifically, being secure about who you are online, almost to the point of secrecy. It’s a little hypocritical, I think since he shows his face when he talks about various films he’s enjoyed or disliked. I don’t show my face, as I already said. I'm not that dumb. 

The TA, Rai, is at the front of the class already, reading glasses on, a stack of homework on his desk, and he’s paging through his notes. He looks handsome, like a cool drink of water. I mean, I’m putting that mildly because I find him so intimidating. He’s _incredibly_ attractive. He has long straight white hair and matching long fur, currently pulled up in a ponytail today. His face is nicely formed and symmetric—I mean, he could be a model with his looks—well, except that he is missing his right eye. He wears a black eyepatch over it. The other eye is a pale icy blue—like a clear winter sky, I think, dreamily. I’ve already written several songs using him as my muse for my composition class. He’s tall, too—and muscular. Actually, he’s surprisingly muscular for a math teaching assistant. He must work out or something. And he has a gorgeous voice: silky and smooth, and it seeps into my ears and rumbles my chest pleasantly.

However, he gives me a rather pointed look, over the top of his reading glasses, his eye narrowed, when I walk into class—almost like I’ve come in late. I check my phone just to be sure. But no. I’m even a few minutes early. So why is he looking at me like that? I drop my face to the floor and take a seat toward the back of the class.

As soon as class starts, Rai starts handing back the latest homework. I heard from several other students in another section that their TA doesn’t grade the homework. They get credit or no credit for handing it in. But Rai definitely grades the work. My paper is marked to hell in red ink when that pale hand places it on my desk gently. 

“You might consider visiting me during office hours,” he says quietly—and he’s close to me, like close enough so I can feel his breath ruffle the fur on my ear. It sends a little shiver down my neck and into my spine, and my tail bristles. I could swear I hear a soft chuckle as he moves down the next aisle.

 _Shit_. What an ass.

I nearly doze off during class today, and I garner unwanted attention from the TA as well. When the period is over and the students are packing up their supplies, Rai’s voice stops me on my way out the door. 

“I have office hours after this. Why don’t you stop in? You know where my office is, don’t you?”

“Um, yes, sir, but I have—”

“Do you have class after this?” Rai interrupts.

“N-no. I j-just have, um, work.”

“What time?”

“Well…” I don’t want to tell him I set my own hours and depend on someone I don't know to pay me. But I do have an appointment with my sponsor this afternoon. It’s only 11 AM after all. I was going to go home and relax for a while and make myself some lunch.

“If you don’t have to work till later, why don’t you let me help you? I’ll walk with you.”

I don’t see a way to escape this situation, so I’m stuck. I wait for a moment, watching Rai gather up his supplies. He puts his readers away in his bag and slings it over his shoulder. Up close, he is quite tall. And frankly, he smells nice, too. I don’t think he’s wearing cologne, but his natural scent is clean and fresh. It makes my body start to sweat.

When he stands up and heads around the desk, he casually brushes my ears with his hand. I think he means it to be a friendly gesture, but it startles me, and I bristle and duck my head. His hand feels so nice—and my ears flood with heat. I’m sure they must be pink and blushing, and I get shy when that happens. Suddenly, I think it may not be wise to sit in a cramped office with this cat today. 

“You know…” I try to come up with an excuse for something else I have to do and why I shouldn’t go with him today, but Tokino has abandoned me already. I know he works after this class every day. So I shouldn’t be surprised. But it would have been nice if he had my back.

“Your ears are cute and soft—like you're still growing into them. Are you sure you’re old enough to be here?”

Offended, I flatten them instantly, my lips curling into a pout. His ears are smaller and more rounded than mine.

“They are normal,” I insist. “I’m 18, just like all the other freshmen here.”

“You’re so jumpy! I don’t bite. Well. Not unless it’s specifically requested,” he says, smiling at me and watching my ears. They bristle in response to his comment. In fear? Anticipation? Just the very thought of that cat putting his mouth on me? _Shit_. 

I drop my gaze to my feet while I wait and follow him out of the classroom, making sure to keep at least an arm’s distance as I walk next to and slightly behind him. Why did he touch me just now? Is he trying to fluster me? That’s mean. Especially because I find him so excessively attractive. It makes my chest hurt.

His office is in the math building—I guess he must be a Ph.D. student or something. Maybe he’s in his first year if he got stuck teaching this class. I sigh quietly, looking up at the tall building. The last thing I want to do right now is something else that makes me look and feel stupid in front of that gorgeous cat.

“I’m on the second floor,” he says quietly over his shoulder. He doesn’t meet my eyes. Maybe he is trying not to scare me.

As we walk up the stairs, I don’t say anything at all. I just follow his fluffy white tail—and it’s long, straight, and luxurious, unlike my own tail. My tail is covered in pretty plush white fur tipped with gold, but the fur is short and thick and easily matted. Also, it has a hook at the end. It’s not majestically straight and perfect like his. And he’s currently swaying it hypnotically back and forth—and framing a rather shapely ass. I can see the muscles flex as he walks up each step.

 _Gods. Look away!_ I’m staring. I need to get a grip! 

I try to lower my gaze when we reach the second floor. His office is a small cozy room at the end of the hall. He unlocks it and opens the door, ushering me inside. There are a desk and two chairs, a sofa (which is where I sit down), and a file cabinet. He has a computer on his desk—an actual desktop with a large monitor—as well as an inbox overflowing with papers and an assortment of office supplies. He has a nice view, too. It’s not as small as I was expecting—until he comes into the room and sits on top of his desk, crossing his arms and facing me. He takes up a _lot_ of room in here. Not just with his body, either—his intimidating aura is pretty big for the space.

“Look, I’ll be honest. I’m a little concerned for you. We are already three weeks into the semester,” he says. His tone is quiet and calm. “If you’re having trouble with derivatives, you will struggle when we move on to integrals.”

I sigh, but I don’t say anything. I’m staring at his feet—he’s wearing sensible athletic shoes—while hugging my bag to my chest.

“What’s your major?” He asks—probably to be friendly and help me relax.

“Music,” I say, keeping my voice quiet.

“You’re taking this class as part of your general education requirements?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t take _any_ math if I had the option.”

He chuckles softly. It’s a nice sound, musical and rich.

“But you actually use math in music, don’t you? And the way you think about math will surely influence how you approach music,” he says. I guess he really likes the subject. I look up, and he meets my gaze. He doesn’t look stern. He looks more concerned than anything else. Does he really care if I learn this stuff?  
  
“I mean, maybe, I guess,” I reply, still softly.

“Do you compose?”

“Yeah. I also perform and am learning to conduct,” I say shyly. I don’t really like to talk about my performances.

“Really? Do you sing? Or play an instrument?”

“I sing, mostly, but I can play several instruments, too. It’s essential for writing music.”

“I bet you have a great voice. I’d love to hear you sing sometime.” I look up at him quickly when he makes that comment. Is he being serious? I can’t tell. But he looks like he is—rather than flustering me on purpose. I’d better change the subject quickly.

“But really, math isn’t a major interest of mine anyway. I don’t even understand what a derivative is—I mean, what its purpose is. What is it? Like a function?” 

“Well,” Rai starts, getting up from the desk and walking behind it. He pulls out a sheet of graph paper and draws a curvy line on a graph. “A derivative actually measures the slope of any point on this curve.” He draws a straight tangent against a random point of the curve. “In contrast, an integral measures the area under the curve between two points.” Now he draws another point on the curve and shades in the area underneath those points. “Both these measurements are useful when dealing with physics, like velocity, acceleration, or force. Are you taking physics this semester?”

“Actually, I do have to take it, but I’m, um, saving it for next year.” I really don’t want to discuss my course requirements with this guy, but here we are. I kind of feel like I should leave—I am uncomfortable right now. It’s not him, though. I’m sure it’s me being weird about how I feel about him that’s making me feel anxious.

“The derivative gives you a precise instantaneous value for the rate of change and leads to precise modeling.” I don’t really understand anything he is saying now.

“I think I’ll stick to the slope of that curve,” I say, slightly discouraged, and he just smiles.

“I’ll be frank. Your last homework—I mean, it looked like you were applying formulae randomly, perhaps not even understanding the questions themselves.” 

That’s pretty accurate, actually.

“I tried working backward from the answers in the book,” I insist, “but even then, I couldn’t figure it out.” 

“Is something in your personal life distracting you? I noticed you were pretty spacey in class today.” 

“Oh, um, no.” Like hell would I tell him I was daydreaming about my sponsor and what he might ask me to do this afternoon—and if I would actually ever consider declining. Between that sponsor and this TA’s good looks, my mind was nowhere near focussed. It still isn’t.

“Well, let’s look at your last assignment. Pull up that chair for a second.”

For the next 30 minutes, I watch Rai solve several problems as he talks me through it—much more slowly and deliberately than he does in class. I assume it’s for my benefit. But I’m still discouraged. I do pay attention—and when he gives me a problem to solve, asking me to talk my way through the solution, I actually manage to get the right answer. It’s like he taught me without my doing _anything_. It's kinda like a miracle.

“I give partial credit,” he says. “But I have to see your work to be able to do that. So show your work, and you should be fine.” He leans back in his chair and gives a nice long stretch. His t-shirt lifts up just a little, exposing his navel and some silky white fur just beneath it. I would love to groom that fur.

And _shit_. He saw me looking just now. I hope I’m not being offensive. 

I abruptly stand up and gather my bag. Avoidance is the best policy in awkward situations like these.

“Well, thank you for your help. I appreciate it.”

“Think you will be all right with this week’s work?” He gets to his feet as well. He’s so much taller than me. I wonder what his arms would feel like wrapped around my body…

“Erm, yeah. You were a big help. I understand things differently now.” My statement is partly true, but I hesitate to make any commitments. I'll probably just forget everything when I leave.

“If you have any trouble, just stop by. Even if it’s not during my regular office hours, I’m here most of the time. And when I’m not here, you can find me in the lab. I’m always available.”

“Okay. Thanks,” I murmur. I feel my ears blushing. Why am I getting so flustered? I mean, hell. He’s just doing his job! There’s nothing unusual or special about me being here. It’s not like we’re on a date.

I wonder—is it even okay for a student to date a TA at this school? 

And gods! I shouldn’t be even thinking about it. Why am I bothering with this? I just want to get home. I rush out quickly—being my usual awkward self, tripping down the stairs—and head to the station.

My usual commute is by train, and between the ride and walking, my apartment is about 45 minutes from campus. But living off-campus is much cheaper than the dorms. I have a tiny studio apartment in the worn-down side of town. It’s a depressing area, especially after coming from campus—the college has such nice trees, grass, and open space.

Originally, I’m from Karou, which is a tiny village in the middle of nowhere—especially when compared to Ransen. It’s no wonder I find it hard to fit in here. I know I should probably look for a real job, but I don’t really need the money between my sponsor and my scholarship. The scholarship provides for housing and food costs, too. The money from my sponsor I use as mad money. 

I’m anxious to get home because I want to go online. I actually adore the attention I get from my video feeds, and I enjoy it even more when I get specific individual attention. It’s a sexy feeling—to be desired, even if it’s just for my body and my voice. I find myself fantasizing about what I will be requested to do today and I can’t wait. 

After throwing my bag in the corner, I sit down at my desk, switching on my computer. I have a new laptop—given to me for school use as part of my scholarship. Sometimes I wonder if it’s actually all right that I use it for this kind of streaming. But who would ever find out?

When I sit down, I already have a request from my mysterious sponsor—username Sterling—and it seems he’s waiting for me to come online. I don’t waste any time. I pull up MewTube and switch on the live feed, making sure the camera is pointed below my neck. I don’t show my face. It’s only seconds before I see Sterling’s name come up on my message feed.

_Hello. I’ve missed you, Aurelius._

Aurelius is my handle on MewTube. I think it means gold—though I don’t show my face, my tail sometimes shows up in an unexpected way, and the tip is golden brown. I thought it would be a nice, sexy stage name.

“Hi, Sterling. It’s nice to hear from you.” I speak softly and clearly into the speaker. “What can I do for you today?” This is how it works between us. I don’t see or hear him, and he pays me to talk and show.

_Mostly, I just want to hear your voice. How is your day going? Tell me about it._

“Oh, it’s been a little rough. My friend got after me this morning for doing these streams—he says it isn’t safe. To that, I say, he doesn’t know _you_. And I think he’s a little jealous.” I laugh softly—mostly at myself for the ridiculous fake flattery.

_Hah. Didn’t you tell me he has a channel, too?_

“He does. He does movie reviews. But that wasn’t the worst part of my morning. I got back my math homework in class, and the TA gave me a hard time. He practically dragged me back to his office after class today.”

_What kind of math?_

“It’s first-semester calculus. But it’s a requirement that I pass the class with a B—and I risk losing my scholarship if I don’t.”

_Isn’t math helpful in composing?_

“Well, I suppose it is—but not calculus.”  
  
_Was the TA helpful?_

“He was, actually. He took the time to go over several problems with me. But I’m sure you don’t want to just talk about that. Can I _do_ anything for you?” I finger the hem of my tee-shirt, expecting he will ask me to take it off. I can see from the “…” on the screen that my sponsor is typing.

_Take off your shirt._

“Your wish is my command,” I reply, and I strip off the shirt over my head. I’ve practiced this many times in the mirror. I can strip off my shirt and flex at the same time, accenting my nice shape. I also make an effort to brush my skin with my fingertips at the same time. Just simply being ordered to do something like this makes me feel flushed and excited—and on the screen, I can see my blush creeping into my neck. Next to the feed, I see a donation appear in my account.

_You’ve done this so many times before for me and still, you blush every time. It’s adorable._

I laugh nervously. I really don’t have much sexual experience at all—at least, not in person. It’s safer this way, I think. I don’t risk anything to my person with this online stuff. And foremost, it isn't awkward.

_Did you write any songs today?_

“It’s funny you should ask. I had my music class this morning, and I got up early. I was inspired to write another little melody.”  
  
_Inspired? I’d love to hear more._

I can’t help smiling.

“Well, the TA in my calculus class is quite attractive. I think it’s one of the reasons I am not doing well in his class. He looks so nice it’s distracting. It's like, I'm too busy checking out his ass to actually listen to him.”

_Oh, really? How interesting. Why don’t you unbutton your fly? Your jeans look really snug today._

“As you wish,” I reply. I run my hands down my sides and slowly move across the waistband to my fly. I unbuckle my belt—and I’m sure he can hear it clink—unbutton my fly and unzip my pants.

_Push them down just a little on your hips._

A helpless shiver rushes through my body. He isn’t asking me to strip today. I wonder what he has planned. I comply with his request and see another donation to my account. I run my fingers across the waistband of my underwear.

_What are the chances I could see your face?_

“I don’t think I can do that for you,” I explain. He’s asked me before and now I actually have a plan. “But I can show you my ears.” 

_Please._

I lean forward and grab a black mesh mask from the desk. I picked it up at a party supply store yesterday, thinking he might ask again. I tie it around my eyes—but of course, he can’t see what I’m doing. Instead, he gets a close-up of my nipples. I check the mirror I have mounted above my computer and I’m well-covered. You can’t even see the color of my eyes. I’m sure he’d never recognize me if he saw me in person. Then I lean back in my chair and smile.

 _My gods. You’re gorgeous. Your fur—it’s so plush and thick. And I love your ears. If I were there right now, I’d lick those ears. They are huge. You_ are _18, aren’t you?_

I laugh softly.

“Of course I am. This is perfectly legal.” I look on the side of the feed, preening happily with those compliments, and I see a large donation added to my account. 

_Your fur looks so soft. And you have the sweetest smile._

“Thank you,” I say. “I wish I could hear your voice.” 

Again, the little dots appear on my screen for a moment, as though Sterling is typing something long. But the next line that appears is simply another request.

_Feel like singing your newest tune for me?_

I sing for Sterling every time I do this. He loves the sound of my voice. I’m not sure if it’s a sexual thing for him or not. But for some reason, when I sing online, it’s totally different from singing in person. I am much less inhibited, and it feels so good. My voice combines with sounds from my body—I was told when I auditioned that I have the blood of a Sanga in my veins, and it’s why I qualified for the scholarship. The university was eager to have me and train me. Sangas are rare in today’s society. We offer up power with our music.

When I sing to a real audience, I feel drained afterward—like my audience is sucking up my power. So I use the gift sparingly. Online, though—while Sterling has said that he feels something mysterious in my voice, it’s not nearly so draining. I enjoy singing to him. 

I open my mouth and let the song spill from my lips. In a few moments, I feel my body vibrate and tremble. My feed beeps quietly with another donation. 

_Your fur fluffs out when you sing. I thought it might—I mean, I’ve seen your tail before. You’re gorgeous._

My ears heat up quickly and I smile at the camera.

_Touch your tail._

I do as I’m requested, drawing my claws and running them through the fur on my tail. It is bristled, strangely, and the touch feels good. I pop the tip of my tail into my mouth and lick it, letting the song take over from my body so I can free up my lips.

_Does singing arouse you?_

“Not exactly,” I say. “But when I sing for you… it feels good. I think I might be addicted to your attention.”

…

_Surely, I am addicted to your voice. What I wouldn’t give to hear it in person!_

I lean forward into the camera, my ears perked up. Maybe they do look large proportionally. I’ve never really thought so. But hell, if he likes them, I shouldn’t complain.

“You don’t live in Ransen, do you?” I can’t believe the words that just dropped from my mouth.

_Actually, I do. Are you going to school at the University of Sisa at Ransen?_

“Yeah,” I say—and my voice sounds huskier than it should. I probably shouldn’t tell him I’m a student here—but there are plenty of cats around here with the same fur coloring as me. 

_I am, too._

My ears fluff out broadly and my tail slips from my hand. He's young enough to be a student!

“Are you? Really? What are you studying?”

…

_Math._

I can’t repress my giggle.

“That’s perfect!” I interrupt my song with my laughter. My skin feels like it’s charged with static electricity, and tingles shiver up and down my spine. This is a usual side effect of my singing, but it feels so much stronger when I sing for Sterling than any other time. “Ugh, I can't believe I just complained about it to you! But... maybe you can tutor me!" 

…

…

There’s no reply for a moment. I hesitate a second before continuing.

“I’m serious. We could meet in a public place or something? Maybe the library?” I am slightly embarrassed for making the suggestion that we meet up since I’m not getting the response I was hoping for, and I see my ears drooping sadly on the screen. 

_My gods. Your ears are so expressive. You look so… innocent._

I smile again. Thank the gods I didn’t offend him.

“It’s okay if you don’t have the time to tutor me,” I add quickly. “I was just thinking it would be nice to meet you in person. I was making an excuse.” 

_Do you want to meet me?_

“Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?” Again, my nerves are showing when my ears flick backward for a moment. “Don’t you want to meet me? In person? You seem so nice.”

_…_

_I’m glad you think so, but you don’t know me. Aren’t you scared?_

“Of you?” I laugh again. “Of course not! You’re my sponsor, aren’t you? You’d never do anything to me—I mean, unless I wanted it—since I wouldn’t be able to keep this up if you did!”

….

_Sometimes I forget how young and inexperienced you are. You really should be more careful with people you meet online. I could be anybody!_

“I know that. But we’ve been chatting like this for three weeks—” Another message pops up on the screen.

 _"Chatting"? Do you call this “chatting”?_

I smile again.

“Well, more than that. I mean, what would you call it?”

_Sexting. Online sex._

I blush all over when I read that. I can hardly respond.

_I pay you to do what I ask you to do. And you obey my every command. Are you this compliant in real life, too? I'm curious._

My dick stiffens obviously—and I’m sure he can tell if he’s looking. I look away from the camera before responding, trying to cool off for a second.

_I’m not sure I could handle you in real life._

“What if I _wanted_ you to handle me?” I murmur into the camera, leaning forward a little. “This… what we have here… it makes me feel so good.”

_Don’t you have to fight off your suitors?_

“What do you mean?”

_If I saw someone with your body—expressive ears and all—and that voice, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself. I see you and all I want to do is touch you._

Gods, this is too much! My heart leaps in my chest.

_I’m sure you don’t really want to meet up in real life. Thanks for saying that, though. It made my day._

“You wouldn’t have to pay me,” I insist quietly. “We could just arrange to meet in the library—you could tutor me and get me up to speed so I don’t flunk out of school during my first semester. I'll have to give back the laptop if I flunk out. I can't stream without my laptop.”

…

“I mean, I don’t want to pressure you. Maybe there’s a reason you don’t want to meet. You probably have someone else special to you in your life.”

_I don’t._

“Then… would you tutor me? Maybe I could offer you something in exchange for your help.”

_I wouldn’t ask that. But…_

“What?”

 _Don’t you have other sponsors besides me? People who want you to do things, say things, or sing for them?_

“I don’t. I mean, I get some contributions now and then to my main stream, but really. You’re my only sponsor.” 

_If you didn’t look so innocent and sweet, I would have a much harder time believing that._

“I don’t have any real-life experience,” I blurt. _Shit_. I probably shouldn’t have said that. “But I think my music and performance would get much better if I did.”

…

_If you put it like that…_

“You’re my muse.”

_I thought you said your TA was your muse._

I laugh softly.

“I did. And he is—but it’s different. I don’t know him.”

…

_You don’t know me, either. I could be some really old, creepy pervert._

“I don’t think you’re old or creepy,” I say, smiling into the camera.

_You left out something just now._

“No. I didn’t. I said I don’t think you’re old or creepy. The pervert part—well, that’s a given.” I giggle again. “But what does that make me?”

A few moments pass, and I shift around in my chair. I pet my tail and my stomach.

“What do you say?”

…

… 

_A public place. The library._

“Yes. When do you have time?”

_Tomorrow night, say eight?_

Another shiver ruffles up my fur broadly.

“Then it’s a date. How will I recognize you?” 

_I look like a math major._

I laugh nervously again.

“Seriously. I haven’t been here long enough to recognize people by their majors.” 

_I’m sure I’ll recognize you. Those ears and that tail… those are unique._

“Plenty of people have this coloring,” I insist.

_I meant the proportion of your ears and also… the shape of your tail._

“Oh.” I am slightly disappointed. 

_You don’t like your tail?_

“No. It’s crooked.”

_Not crooked. It’s interesting. Fascinating. I want to groom it._

I look up at the camera again, slightly shocked.

_I won’t unless you ask me to._

I wonder if I should be at least a _little_ afraid of this meeting. I’m planning to meet someone who pays me to strip and sing—and sometimes a little bit more. He pays to _watch_ me touch myself. Surely, there has to be something wrong with this! Why don’t I feel more anxious?

_I may not be your type. I may not look like your TA, after all._

I laugh again.

“I’m sure I will like you. You are a likable person.”

_Via chat._

“No, not just that. I think you’re kind. And you’re offering to help me.”

_…_

_I didn’t actually offer. This is your idea._

“Yeah, it is. So… really, how will I recognize you?”

_Just meet me in the stacks—there’s a quiet study area down there—at eight tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll recognize me when you see me. I'll recognize you._

“All right,” I say. “I can’t wait.” I smile at the camera again. “Can I do anything else for you?” I let my fingers trail down my abdomen and touch the fur just beneath my belly button.

_I think I want to save it for later. Plus I have some work to do._

“Okay. But don’t forget. Tomorrow at eight in the stacks.” 

_I couldn’t forget._

Another obvious shiver goes through my body, making my fur stand on end. I’m thrilled. Maybe… just _maybe_ … he will _like_ me when he meets me in person. Maybe I will be able to have a real-life relationship with a kind, generous cat when we meet…

“I can’t wait,” I say again. 

_Me, either. See you tomorrow!_

I blow a few kisses at the camera, and I watch as he signs off.

_XXXOOO_

I always keep a copy of the chat log after our sessions. If I don’t end up actually coming during the session—and I don’t always masturbate, but I have in the past several times—I use it later for fantasy material. It’s almost as though I can hear his voice through the chat. I wonder what he looks like! It doesn’t even occur to me that night that I might not like what I see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe recollects his online time with Sterling as he gets ready for the date. (Again, this is fiction, people. Please don't take this too seriously. Also, Konoe is not the sharpest tool in the shed in this fic.)
> 
> Triggers: references to stripping, online sex for money, anxiety. Weird those things would go together.

I take a lot of time to get ready for my date, er, tutoring session. Classes are over at noon, and I head home for a while. I soak in the bath, wash my hair and condition my fur, unable to keep my fantasies in check. I remind myself that I’m _only_ meeting him for tutoring. And there’s a chance he won’t like me in person.

Really, there’s nothing particularly special about me. I feel like I’m too skinny, too short, my hips are too wide, my hair is dull and unruly. Still, I take extra care to prepare. Will he want to touch me? Kiss me in person? Where? Surely not at the library. But if he did… what would I do?

I haven’t told anyone I’m doing this. I know what Tokino would say. He would freak the fuck out, telling me it’s ridiculous to meet up with someone I only just met online—especially if that person pays to watch me touch myself. But that’s not how it started. I try to remember three weeks ago. I’d just finished posting my second video, and I got that instant message and my first donation. 

_-Do you do private streaming?-_

I texted right back.

 _I haven’t. But I might consider it._

_-I love your voice. I’d pay to hear more of it and to hear you sing.-_

That was all it took. I started a live stream that evening, and it was incredibly fun. At first, he just asked me to say certain things. He’d type it and I’d read it. Nothing strange, though. Then, he asked if I’d sing, and I did. It felt good—his attention, his desire—even if it was for how I sounded, that was good enough for me.

It wasn’t till the fourth time streaming with him—our second week—that something other than my voice came up. It was really hot that day, and my air-conditioning wasn’t working well. I’d been fiddling with my shirt—just the hem of it—within view of the camera.

_What’s the matter? You look uncomfortable._

“Yeah, it’s too fucking hot today,” I grumbled. “My air-conditioning isn’t working well. I guess that’s what I get in this cheap housing complex.”

_Do you want to chat later?_

“Ah, no. I have time now. And I like talking to you.” I smiled up into the camera as though looking at him directly.

_I’m just saying, you might be more comfortable if you took a shower or got your hair wet. I’ll wait._

“That’s kind of you,” I purred softly. Then… impulsively, I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it off over my head. “Do you mind if I just…?”

…

Shit. No response. I wondered if I overstepped or offended him.

“I’m s-sorry… Was that too bold of me?” I held the shirt up in front of my chest while speaking. “I c-can come back—”

I was interrupted by the soft chime of my donation account. I saw a sizable donation in there now that wasn’t there before.

“Hey—I haven’t sung for you yet,” I pointed out.

_I know. I wasn’t paying for that. And I have a feeling you should charge a little extra for this kind of service._

“I don’t _charge_ anything! These are donations,” I clarified, somewhat nervously, but dropping my shirt on the floor. My chest was covered with a fine layer of sweat—and I felt much cooler without the shirt. “I couldn’t charge for this. I’m too plain.”

_You’re not plain! I think you’re adorable._

_…_

_So…_

I waited a few moments for him to continue, but nothing further came.

“So what?” I asked.

_Is the shirt your limit?_

Blood flooded my ears and my chest thumped hard and loud. 

“Um… I don’t know. Did you have a specific request?” Keeping my voice soft and silky, I let the words drip from my tongue like honey. At the time, I felt incredibly sexy. No one had ever asked to see me naked before, nor had anyone ever expressed interest in seeing my body. I was flattered. 

_Honestly, I want to smell that glistening skin in person._

“Stop it!” I knew he was teasing now. “I’m being serious. I’ll take requests. This is your feed.”

 _You’d do whatever I wanted?_

“Probably. I mean… it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

_Jeez. Are you like this in person, too?_

“What do you mean?” But instead of answering me, I received the following.

_Your belt._

“What about it?”

_Take it off._

A shudder of heat filled my body at the rest, and I complied immediately. Again, I looked up when the donation box chimed softly. 

“Can you hear that?” I asked.

_The chime? I certainly can._

“Isn’t it a little weird?”

_Not at all. I think it’s incredibly hot._

“I mentioned earlier, it is really hot today.” I found myself smiling—but really, he couldn’t see me at that point. He could probably tell I was smiling from the sound of my voice, though.

_Cute. And don’t you think you’d be cooler without your pants?_

“I don’t know. I might be. Are you wearing any?”

 _Boxers only._

Oh, my gods, that was hot! I fingered the button on my jeans—again, wondering if this was really a good idea. But what could happen? Brushing my fingers against the soft white fur beneath my belly, I unbuttoned my fly and unzipped it.

Ding!

The soft chime of the donation box just rang again. What the hell? I went ahead and stripped out of my jeans, leaving myself in my boxers alone. 

_Silk. Nice. Fitting for a musician._

I laughed softly.

“I’m just glad I’m not wearing my most worn pair today. That would be embarrassing." 

…

_Will you sing for me now? Like that?_

“Of course.”

We didn’t go further than that. And my song was richer and more heartfelt than usual. It’s weird. Sterling makes me feel accepted and loved. I am incredibly excited to meet him today. This evening couldn’t come fast enough.

And yeah, I did plan my outfit, including nice underwear—just in case. But seriously, what do I think is going to happen? Would I really invite him back to my place? What, do I think we’d have sex in the library? What if he’s weird in person and just wants to watch? Would I be able to do that? At my house? At the library?

I’m not thinking of the possibility that I might not find him attractive. That thought hasn’t occurred to me even once. Or that I might be scared of him. My nerves are handling my fears appropriately—nervous excitement would describe my feelings perfectly. 

It’s a little bit before eight when I arrive at the library. I’m feeling a little self-conscious, so I stop in the restroom upstairs before I head down to the stacks. I am filled with eager anticipation while I check my hair and my teeth. I brushed them before I left—and I even cleaned up my apartment a little, just in case. Maybe that’s crazy.

I know where that little study room is—I looked it up on the map first. It’s slightly apart from the books and it has a door, which should allow us to be able to chat. Taking a deep breath and one last look at my outfit—just a striped t-shirt, my usual slim-fit jeans, and Converse—noticing my ass doesn’t look bad in these jeans. I need to take this one step at a time. I don’t really want to ruin what we have going for us online.

Is that why I feel all this pressure?

I head to the steps, walking down two flights of stairs. I’m carrying my bag with me—conceivably, Sterling will be helping me with calculus, after all. How would it look if I showed up to meet him without any study materials?

Finally arriving in the stacks, I make my way toward the back of the room. There should be a row of small offices on the right, and the study room is in the way back corner, hidden by shelves of old books. I see a light on inside, and my heart lifts a little. I don’t think I could imagine a more romantic meeting than this.

It’s ridiculous!

The door is open just a little bit—and I’m sure this is the right room. I can’t wait to see him in person, but I feel just a slight hesitation before I push open the door. Should I really do this? I freeze in place for a second.

But then, a familiar warm scent grazes my nose. It perks up my ears and bristles my fur a little, and it makes me push open the door and step inside. 

To my utter surprise, I _recognize_ the cat sitting at the table, looking up at me through his single pale blue eye.

“Hi,” Rai says. What the hell is my TA doing here? I can’t imagine anything worse right now! I’m supposed to be meeting Sterling—who may just be the new love affair of my life—and instead, I’m faced with a TA who flusters me and distracts me with every part of himself. What would the new love of my life think if he caught me in here with Rai? His looks, his scent, the sound of his voice… Gods! He’s interrupting my chance to meet the man of my dreams… with his own irresistible charm. 

“Um… good evening,” I say. I try to keep calm, but I am really nervous. I look around quickly.

“Are you here for extra study help?” Rai asks. His voice sinks deep into my ears. Gods! I’m a mess. If the man of my dreams were to show up now, I’d be so ashamed of myself. But again, he knows about my TA, I suppose. They are in the same department, I guess. Maybe I could explain it. “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Um, I th-think I’m in the wrong place. I didn’t mean to disturb your work.”

“I told you earlier, you don’t disturb me. Did you bring your calculus homework?" 

I look up. There’s a strange expression on Rai’s face—he looks… amused.

“Um…”

“If you have it with you, pull up a chair.”

“Wh-what?” Flustered again… almost to a point where I can’t make any coherent sounds come out of my mouth!

“I have time. I’ll help. You did well yesterday afternoon.”

“I-i’m n-not s-sure—”

“Well, I’m _positive_ you’re in the right place at just the right time,” Rai insists, his voice dropping in volume. He stands up and walks around the table, taking the bag from my arm. He’s so attractive it hurts. I realize that part of me was half-expecting Sterling to look just like him. He also pulls out a chair for me and helps me sit down—by pushing me into it. 

Then… just lightly, he brushes my ears. It sends a shiver down my back and into my tail. Probably because I’ve been so excited.

“I like your hair like this,” he murmurs—also into my ear. And to my utter confusion, he takes a seat next to me. 

What is he even _doing_ here? This doesn't make sense. Doesn’t he have his own office? How dare he intrude on my life like this—I mean, I don’t care how attractive he might be! How dare he!

“D-don’t you have an office?” I ask, trying to stay calm. 

Rai is gathering up a pencil and some graph paper and pulling it in front of his place. His chair scoots just a little closer to mine.

“I do, yes.” Again, I hear the amusement in his voice. He’s writing something on the paper and puts it in front of my place at the table.

_Relax. I just really like your voice._

Wait just a minute. That is just too much of a coincidence. Unless… no. It couldn’t be possible. I gape at the tall silver cat next to me. He is leaning back in his chair confidently, slouching a little. Then he gives another stretch, showing off the silvery-white fur at the top of his waistband. I lick my lips—I have to! I can’t help it! I’ll start drooling if I don’t—and I’m embarrassed.

“Did you bring your study materials? Go ahead and take them out of your bag.”

He has such a captivating voice. Is he teasing me? How would he know about this meeting? Something feels weird about this… unless maybe he _knows_ Sterling. Didn’t he say he was a math student as well? I mean, there can’t be that many. But would Sterling talk about me to someone else? It’s both embarrassing and flattering at the same time.

I keep my eye on Rai when I take my paper, calculator, and book out of my bag. I am oddly compliant.

“Oh. I guess I need a pencil, too.”

Rai watches me—and the way he is watching reminds me of how he looked at me in class and in his office earlier today. It’s certainly not a neutral look. This looks… _interested_. Maybe just a little hungry, too.

When I pull a pencil and eraser out of my bag, I feel a soft, light touch on my tail. It startles me, but both Rai’s hands are within view on the table. I twitch my tail and I feel it again—this time, it's warmer. It’s his tail wrapping around mine, stroking it softly. It feels… so good. 

But more importantly, why is he teasing me like this? 

“Do you come to this place often?” I ask, directly.

“Only when I make prior arrangements,” Rai purrs softly. He’s staring at me—that pale blue eye of his feels like he knows me, and like he knows what I’ve been doing… not in a judging way, though. This is more… interested or fascinated. It’s weird. 

“And you made prior arrangements today?” He probably spoke to Sterling—I’m sure—and thought, hell, I’ll see what happens if I show up instead. He probably frightened him off!

“I did. Well. Technically I made them yesterday. Online. With you.”

My mouth drops open. Then things suddenly start to click together in my brain. He can’t be serious!

“Wait just a minute,” I start. I think about what exactly I know about Sterling… and doesn’t that sort of imply silver? His name? I look at Rai’s mane of hair and his ears—hell, even his skin is perfect. “Oh, my gods.”

“What? Are you disappointed? I recognized you in class.”

“What?! You couldn’t have recognized me! I’ve never shown you my face before yesterday—”

“No. You haven’t. But your tail is unique. Aurelius, isn’t it?” He’s smiling at me. My heart thumps around loud in my chest when he calls me by that name. “Maybe it would be safer for me to stick with Konoe?”

“I don’t think you look like a math major,” I say, determined—as soon as I can speak again.

Rai actually laughs at this.

“Oh no? What do you think I look like?”

“I don’t know. But not math.” 

“I think you look exactly like a music major—an artist. And did I mention I love the sound of your voice?”

I think back on the classes I’ve had with this TA. It seems he has called on me during every lecture! How could that be? Why would he do that, if not simply to fluster me? What if...  
  
“Do you call on me in class so often because you like the sound of my voice?” 

“Of course. And I’m pleased to be your muse. Have you already sung me all the songs you wrote for me?” He’s speaking in a whispered, hoarse voice.

I don’t know what to say. I’m utterly flustered. Not disappointed, though—just in complete shock.

“I-is this even okay?” I whisper.

“Is what okay?”

“For me to be here—with you—now? I mean, I’m not breaking any rules, am I? Or are you?”

“I think it’s fine. I grade your homework without prejudice. Which… frankly is why I thought you could use the extra help.” 

I feel my ears heating up. 

“Gods, your ears are cute. You’re distracting.”

“No, you’re distracting!” I shoot back. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you recognized me and didn’t _say_ anything! Why would you do that?”

“What do you think I should have said, Konoe?” Rai murmurs. “How about, ‘Oh, I recognize you from our private online video chats’? I didn’t want to embarrass you any further.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” I say.

“Are you mad?”

I sigh—in an annoyed tone. But no, I’m not mad. I just…

“No. I just feel so stupid.” I lower my face to the table and keep it there on my hands.

“Don’t say that,” Rai says, and he puts his arm around my shoulder. He smells so good and he feels even better. His comfort is just… oh, my gods. I can’t be doing this with him!

I stand up suddenly, pushing my chair away from the desk.

“I should go. I’m sorry.”

Rai catches my hand—taking it in both of his. I haven’t packed up my stuff yet, either.

“Wait. Don’t go.”

My heart flutters inside my chest at his touch. I watch him bring my hand up to his lips, and he brushes the back of it softly. I can’t figure out if he’s teasing me or not—well, I was sure he was. But now… he looks earnest. 

“Stay. Sit. I’ll help you. And then we can go get coffee.”

I sigh again, unsure of what I should do.

“Still, I can’t believe you suggested we meet in person.”

“You agreed!” I protest.

“But I could have been _anyone_ ,” Rai says. He’s kind of scolding me—but it doesn’t really feel like that when I look in his eye. He’s still sitting in his chair, and confident I will sit back down. “Listen. You came here for math tutoring, didn’t you?”

I nod, biting my lip.

“Then sit back down. You’re here now, aren’t you? It's safe.”

Is it, though? I wonder. He’s seen me naked, for gods’ sake! My _calculus_ TA has seen me naked! And worse—my gods—he’s seen me jerk off! Shit! He’s _paid_ me to jerk off! 

Truthfully, though… was it his idea? Any of it? Or were my clothes just coming off anyway? And did I just get carried away? And was I trying to take more of his money? Gods... 

“You can’t be… that person,” I say. “You’re a TA. You can’t make much money here. Aren’t you still paying tuition yourself? You couldn’t afford me!”

“Well, it’s funny you should mention that,” Rai says. He’s awfully pleased that I’m sitting down again. “I had a job before I started school and it paid well.” 

“Oh. You’re rich?” 

“I’m comfortable. Now… eyes on your paper. Although, I don’t mind you staring at me like that, either.”  
  
I ruffle my fur a little at his comment and lower my gaze to the paper in front of me. I also open my calculus textbook up to the homework assignment. I ignore him as best as I can for a few minutes while carefully writing my name and the date on my sheet of graph paper.

“You make my day, you know. Seeing you look at me like that. It’s utterly distracting in class. Now, if only you'd take as much care when doing the homework as you do writing your name and date.” The words are softly spoken—tenderly spoken with a soft smile—and they make me bristle my fur even more. My chest aches, and one of the songs I wrote for him echoes in my brain. 

I think I may be smitten. Utterly _smitten_. As soon as the shock wears off, I realize in my head that Sterling is _actually_ Rai. And I am in love with Sterling—and Rai—both. And have been for the past three weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should add a small dedication to all of you who did really, really stupid things in college. Because I sure as hell did. I'm lucky to be alive! This fic is dedicated to you, my strong, brave (and foolish) readers!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe takes up Rai's offer for coffee, and Rai suggests after that, perhaps he could walk him home.
> 
> Konoe doesn't decline, even after some reservations. And he takes Rai back to his apartment.

Rai takes me to a coffee shop just off campus called “The Living Room.” It’s got a nice, warm atmosphere, couches and soft cozy chairs surrounding coffee tables. This time of night is quiet and peaceful—only a few students are sitting around chatting quietly—in lowered voices like they might in the library.

I take a seat in a cozy sofa—it comfortably seats two cats my size—and there’s a nice chair next to me for Rai while I watch him place the order. I try not to drink much caffeine—Tokino says it makes me annoying. And annoying is one thing I _don’t_ want to be tonight. So he’s getting me a chai latte.

While Rai is ordering, my eyes slide over to him, chatting in a low voice with the barista. Then—and only then—does it hit me: _That_ cat—the tall, slender, muscular cat with perfect silver hair, fluffy long fur, and the perfect ass—is _Sterling_. He’s the one who has been paying me to sing (and take my clothes off and touch myself) online. The realization makes me quiver. Oh, my _gods_. It doesn’t make sense!

I still haven’t figured out how he was so sure it was _me_. I mean, my fur is not an uncommon color, but could it have just been my crooked tail. But it seems he’s known who I was since the very beginning. That means that during class, he probably was looking at me and remembering what I was _just_ doing for him online. My ears flush to even think about it—but what else was I expecting by making these arrangements to meet in person? I’m not sure how I could otherwise avoid the embarrassment.

Would it be less embarrassing to meet him in person if I didn’t know who he was already? I try to imagine—how he might have acted and how might I have behaved if I met a complete stranger. I mean, I don’t know Rai very well. But I do remember he touched my ears during office hours.

Where does he get the money to pay me? His job before school? Weird. Maybe graduate students make a lot of money, but I seriously doubt it.

He turns to glance at me over his shoulder and catches me staring at his ass, which is framed perfectly by that elegant tail. I don’t know how long he catches me staring, but I quickly look away. It’s embarrassing— _why_ did I think this would be a good idea?!

That handsome cat staring at me has seen me _naked_ —and worse!—and here we are, buying coffee like it’s nothing unusual, as though nothing weird is happening. Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?! Panic and anxiety rise in my throat, making my mouth taste a little strange, and my body starts to sweat.

I know he can tell I’m nervous when he comes back with our drinks. His nose twitches and he smirks a little when he sits down. It’s more a half-smile than a smirk, I guess. He doesn’t look mean. But he has such a handsome face that even a half-smile looks kind of mocking. He sits down next to me on the couch, even though I haven’t quite left enough room for him. Our thighs are touching, making my fur ruffle and my tail won’t sit still. He sets the drinks (in real mugs!) on the coffee table in front of us and casually drapes an arm around me as he leans back. 

His touch is startling and unexpected—although, what did I expect, really?

He’s warm. And he smells _really_ nice. And I feel like I should stop worrying so much about things. That is sort of a dangerous feeling, perhaps?

Then, to my surprise and delight, he lowers his lips to my ear and licks the tip, making the fur bristle. Even that small touch sends a frightening amount of pleasure through my body, down my spine and sinking into my hips.

“You smell nice—sweet like honey.” Then in an even softer, sexier voice, he whispers, “Just like I’d always imagine your scent.” 

It occurs to me that he actually sounds like Sterling’s texts—no-nonsense and direct to the point of being blunt. Back at the library, I noticed he sounded like his texts. Hell, even in class he sounds like him. How did I _fail_ to recognize him? I mean, yeah, hindsight is 20/20, but still.

And really, how did he recognize me? It can’t have just been my tail. And _when_?

“When did you recognize me?” I speak softly, matching the quiet in the room. 

Rai chuckles softly before he answers, making me turn my head to look at him. He has a nice laugh and a smile that lights up his eye. _Shit_. He is one attractive cat. This could be bad news. I feel a poor decision impending heavily in the room.

“Well, I have to say I thought it might be you when I heard you speak on the first day in class. But I wasn’t sure till the second week.” Wait—he must have seen my very first feed. It was before he started sponsoring me.

“How?” I am convinced I was being secure online. 

“Your voice. And your tail, too. It has a unique shape. You don’t exactly hide it when you stream.”

I remember Sterling saying that online—that he actually liked the shape of my tail. Also, I remember him saying, “I may not look like your TA, after all.” What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

“Were you making fun of me?” I ask softly. I feel ashamed. And stupid. I _hate_ feeling stupid. But then again, maybe if I didn’t keep doing stupid things, like taking my clothes off in front of a camera and then asking to meet up with a person who watched me do those things, I wouldn’t feel stupid.

“When?”

“Online. Yesterday afternoon. Today.”  
  
“Why would you feel like that?”

“You said I’d recognize you.”

“Well, did you?”

“Um, yes. But you also said you might not look like my TA. If you knew—this whole time…”

“Then what?”

Well, then he’d know how incredibly, distractingly handsome I thought he was, so much that I can't concentrate in class! But I’m not going to be so direct.

“I just feel like a bit of a fool.” 

“Hmph. Meeting up with someone you’ve only met online—no references—and someone who asks you to do foolish things makes you feel stupid?”

I glare up at him, and he returns my look with a smile.

“Gods, you’re cute.”

He touches my ears again.

“I’m just as much of a fool, then. Didn’t I agree to this meeting as well?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t your idea.”

“You can’t tell me you’d think I’d _ever_ pass this up,” Rai states. “You know I couldn’t.”

I don’t reply. I do know that Sterling has mentioned in the past that he’d love to be in the same room with me. It’s just a weird relationship, I guess. A few awkward moments go by in silence. I slurp my latte and hear him do the same. The sound is oddly sexy.

Gods! What am I doing?! 

“Thanks for the help with my homework,” I say, trying to change the subject. “It helped. I think I understand things much better now.”

“I’m glad. But I don’t really want to talk about class.” 

Since I’m sitting next to him, it’s a little awkward to look up at him when he talks to me. I have to turn my head and look up. I do when he says that he doesn’t want to talk about class. 

“Okay. So what do you want to talk about?” I’m at somewhat of a loss.

“What are you doing after this?” 

“After coffee? I don’t know. I was thinking I’d get back to my place.”

“Do you live off-campus?”

“Yeah. I have a small studio on the other side of town.”

“Oh? Care to invite me back? Or at least let me walk you home.”

“It’s pretty far,” I say and he touches my arm.

“I’d love to spend the time talking to you.”

The soft touch of his fingers brushing my arm sends a little shiver through my body. Since his leg is still touching mine, I’m sure he can feel it and my ears blush in embarrassment. 

“Just talking?” Ugh—I can’t believe I just asked that. 

“Or more. If you invite me in. Come on. Show me the way.”

Foolishly, I stand up and lead him out of the coffee shop.

“I am not sure this is a good idea,” I whisper when Rai grabs my hand and puts it in the crook of his arm.

“Oh no? Well, if you don’t trust me by the time we get there, you don’t have to invite me in.”

“I know. It’s not about trust so much… It’s more about whether I’m confident enough to invite you in.”

“Confident? What do you mean?” 

“Um, well… I’m not sure to do with—”

“Don’t you feel confident in your looks? You’re _adorable_. You’re a distraction to my other students in my class. At least when you sit in the back, those students have a fighting chance!”

I feel my ears heating up again. We’ve walked to the train station and climb into the first car. It’s deserted, but Rai takes the seat next to me anyway. Once the train starts moving, he moves even closer to me. He presses his nose to my ears and breathes softly into them, and his hair falls around my shoulders. He smells really nice.

I might as well be honest. I’ll be inviting him in. I even cleaned up my studio a little for just this occasion.

The train passes through many of its underground tunnels. And it’s dark outside for a few moments, leaving the weak light coming from inside the train feel dim and romantic. I feel something warm and damp caressing my ear. Rai is grooming me, I think—or at least, licking my ear. It’s incredibly sensitive, and I tilt my head to escape the ticklish sensation and loud slurping sound. Even the sound makes me shiver. 

Rai suddenly grabs my shoulder and my chin, forcing me to stay still. It’s a powerful grip, but he touches my chin gently, encouraging me to keep my head still. The small movement makes me realize he is indeed much stronger than me. Should I really be doing this?

“Um,” I whisper—and a small frightened meow slips out.

“That’s right. I forgot you make those little meowing sounds. It’s unusual.” The words are whispered directly in my ear.

“I’m sorry,” I reply—and another mewl sneaks out. My ears flush hot and my cheeks burn.

“Don’t be. I find it enchanting. So… innocent.”

Something in the way he said the word “innocent” makes me fluff out my fur. It sounded almost dangerous—but how could it be, if he called me innocent?

Soon, the train stops and we walk the rest of the way to my apartment. He has grabbed my hand and slipped it into his jacket pocket, letting me lead the way. It feels nice to be walking to close to him. It’s comfortable.

And should I feel this comfortable?

But I lead him right to my door and fish the key out of my front pocket. It takes me just a little time since my jeans are so slim. But I get it—seeing an amused expression fading from his face—and unlock it.

“Please come in.”  
  
“Thanks for having me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe invites Rai into his apartment. Sex stuff happens.

Once the tall white cat steps inside my studio apartment, I get the feeling he doesn’t belong here. I don't know if it's that I'm well aware that he could do better than me. Maybe it just feels like I don't feel well-matched. As he glances around, his very presence in my room seems to make the space warm and dreamlike. I slip off my shoes at the door, watching him do the same and again, I can’t believe this is real.

What is he doing here—with _me_?

And what the hell am I _thinking_ , inviting him in?

This gorgeous, silver-haired cat has heard me repeat the phrases he texts, sing my most intimate songs, has watched me take off my clothes, touch and pleasure myself, and he’s _paid_ me to do it! I can’t imagine how he must see me: perhaps as his online whore? The obedient kitten who does anything he asks for a few bucks?

I feel ashamed and can barely bring myself to look at him. What can I do now? How can I convince him that _isn’t_ who I really am? This Aurelius he meets online, that’s just an avatar, a _false_ me—he _isn’t_ me. I’m more than my online persona. 

Then again, why do I care so much about what he thinks of me? He's here with me now, and perhaps I will be able to get the experience I've been longing for. 

“Change your mind, kitten?” The low voice purrs softly into my ear.

“Um, n-no,” I murmur, but I am nervous. I wonder if this is really such a good idea after all. Will he expect me to do anything weird tonight? Doing things online is so much less… personal, I think. So much less intimidating. I don’t actually have to make eye contact or touch anyone. “Please, I’m sorry. I… I just don’t know what to do.” 

“Interesting you should phrase things that way,” Rai answers. “I may be able to help out.”

“How?”

“Why don’t you just trust me for a moment?” Rai takes a seat on the chair in the living area. I also have a small couch, toward which he gestures with his fingers. “Take a seat.” A shiver rushes through my body when he issues that command. It's as though my body wants to obey him.

It’s my house—I am _hosting_ , I realize the moment my butt touches the cushions. I haven’t offered him anything. I leap up before I have a chance to relax. 

“Wait!”

Rai’s ears perk up and fluff out a little in surprise to my sudden outburst. They are surprisingly cute.

“C-can I get you anything to eat or drink?” I ask, my voice much softer.

“Thank you, but I’m fine. Sit down and relax.”

I comply, taking a seat across from him. I have a short table I use for meals—they are called coffee tables here—but I keep it close to the kitchen area.

“Comfortable?” Rai asks.

I nod my head, but his question confuses me a little. I wonder what he has in mind and if he should be sitting next to me on the couch.

“So. I noticed something when I was helping you with your homework.”

My ears perk up and I meet his gaze. Icy blue—like Sisa’s winter sky—fills my vision. He has long white lashes—thick and plush like his fur. He’s _gorgeous_.

“You seem quite compliant in person.”

“Compliant?”  
  
“Yes. You sat down when I told you to sit down. You sat where I asked you to sit. You stayed in the library even when you were hesitant to do so. You did your homework even though I know you didn’t want to. Just because I asked.”

“Um, yeah.”

“Why?”

Why? Well, I had planned to meet him, didn’t I? I wasn’t disappointed. I was more surprised than anything. But does he think I should have left? I must look confused by his question.  
  
“Didn’t it surprise you, finding out I am Sterling?”

“Of course it did,” I say.

“But you stayed anyway.”  
  
"You asked me to.”

“Do you always do as you are asked? Or is this something you save just for me? You came with me to office hours yesterday, too. I could see you were hesitating.”

“Um. I don’t really like calculus very much.”

“That isn’t what I’m asking.”

“I mean, you invited me and I didn’t have an excuse not to go.”

Rai leans forward, resting his arms on his knees. He is staring at me closely and he repeats his question.

“So, do you always do as you are told?”

My fur bristles up suddenly at the tone of his voice. It's so low and sexy. I'm pretty sure he may ask me to do something sexual and I won't be able to refuse.

“Um…”

I’m unsure of what I should do or say. I _did_ plan to meet him today, after all. I think for a moment about what I really _want_ to do or say—why I wanted to meet him in person? What did I think would happen? What did I want to happen? Isn't it this?

I’m a little ashamed to admit what I _really_ wanted to happen when I met him. I wanted him to help me get some real-life experience. So… am I just scared now? Do I have cold feet? If that’s really what the problem is, I would never have invited him into my home. He’s here now—in person—the person I have been fantasizing about for the past three weeks. No, he is _both_ the people I've been fantasizing about for the past three weeks. He’s right here in front of me. And so…

I lean forward toward him and tilt my head up just a little, looking up at him through my lashes. I am close enough to him to smell his breath, and he smells sweet. I am deliberately close enough to him so he could kiss me if he wanted. But he doesn’t.

“Hmm,” he purrs softly. “Why don’t you lean back and relax?”

He stays where he is, and I comply with his request—exactly as I have done in the past. This doesn’t feel any different from what I have done for him online. It’s just the same. Isn’t it?

“Take off your shirt.”

My fur bristles up at his low, demanding tone—and I hesitate for a moment. But before I know what is happening, my hands are fingering the hem of my t-shirt and brushing the fur just beneath my belly. Keeping my gaze right on his pale blue eye, I cross my arms in front of me and pull off my shirt overhead.

"Your skin looks so smooth.”

I’m feeling quite excited at this point, and I preen a little under his compliment. I kind of want him to touch me.

“Perhaps you should get more comfortable,” he murmurs, leaning back in the chair.

I don’t really understand what he means. I’m sitting on the couch, but his gaze flashes low, like around my belt. He is asking me to take off my pants?

“Go ahead. You know what I mean.” 

I am _really_ thinking this isn’t such a great idea now, but my hands obey him anyway. It actually is a lot more intense doing this in person than it is online. First, I don’t hear the little clinking sound of money being transferred to me, though I never expect it. (I should clarify—I don’t think I want him to pay me for this, here and now. It’s just weird that no money is exchanging hands.) Second, his presence in the room is much more powerful than his presence online. Being flooded with his scent, his voice, his body… it’s overwhelming and distracting. 

However, apparently I’m not overwhelmed enough not to comply with his request, and I unbuckle my belt. I wait for a moment, raising my eyes to his face, watching him look at me, and he is wearing this incredibly indulgent expression. He smiles softly, lifting his eyebrows, and nods his chin, and I unbutton my jeans and unzip my fly. His pupil dilates fully as I push my jeans down on my hips. 

“Touch yourself.” The command comes out as almost a growl.

Hearing the words—instead of reading them—gods, it’s much hotter than I expect. A surge of heat pulses through my chest and into my groin, and with my left hand I stroke the fur underneath my belly really softly. Then, using my right, I touch my cock through the fabric of my underwear.

I close my eyes for a moment, enjoying the moment and frankly trying to get myself under control.

“Open your eyes.”

Complying with his request is somewhat difficult. I mean, he has watched me do this before—but he watched me and I never even knew what he looked like. I didn’t get to see him. It occurs to me that I have been watching him very carefully in class, and if he really knew who I was, whenever he looked at me in class, I wonder if he thought about this—me stripping off my clothes, touching myself, doing whatever he asked.

“Touch your tail, too.”

His voice is soft and tempting—how I’d imagine a devil’s voice might sound. I can’t seem to disobey him, and I run my claws through my fur toward the tip, which I pop into my mouth. That sends another wave of desire pulsing through my body, and precome soaks the fabric of my underwear.

A soft sigh escapes my mouth—and it sounds so loud in here. I know when I’ve been online with him in the past I’ve been much more vocal than I am, but I’m feeling a little inhibited because he is actually in the room with me. I hope he doesn’t notice— 

“Let your voice go. I want to hear you.”

Shit—I guess I have no excuses now, so I stop restraining myself, letting my breath hum past my vocal cords and sighing, even moaning when I touch myself. Without waiting for his prompt—I shiver to think what he would even say—I lower the waistband of my underwear and let my dick spring free. I gasp out loud and hear his voice again.

“Open your eyes.”

I’m getting pretty aroused by now—and all he’s doing is just talking to me in that wonderful voice. I obey him, but I find I can’t quite meet his gaze. I end up staring at his shirt or glancing a little lower or over his shoulder. But it’s obvious he wants me to meet his eye when he issues the next command.

“Look at me.”

A soft purring hum spills out of my body—and I suddenly feel a song in my chest when I meet his gaze. I wonder if it’s okay to sing? It seems I can’t help it, though—since the song comes unbidden, bursting from my chest, flooding the space between us, soft tendrils of light drifting from me to him, toying with his fur.

It’s a startling sensation since I am suddenly touching him—albeit indirectly—with the light that radiates from my hands. I never noticed I could feel in the tendrils—but I can definitely feel the silky texture of his hair, the plush fur covering his ears and tail, and my excitement increases exponentially. I don’t bother to suppress my voice and let out a delighted, soft sigh, which mixes in with my song.

Rai’s pupil has dilated fully, and his face is glowing with the light of my song. He stands up and gets close enough to touch. Both my hands are occupied—stroking myself lewdly and caressing my tail. He leans over me, his hands on either side of me but doesn’t quite touch me. It thrills me to be able to smell him, feel his hair brush against my chest, and watch his expression.

He hovers over me without touching me for a few moments—and my song gets a little frantic. I can’t tell if it’s nerves or desire, but in any case, it’s exhilarating. I watch his eye travel from the tips of my ears to my lap, an unmistakable lust in his gaze. 

When he finally leans in to kiss me, he moves his hands to either side of my face and tilts my chin up just a little. When he touches his lips to mine, he feels hot—and his lips are so soft. Then, when he presses them against me again and his tongue sweeps into my mouth, a loud moan sounds in my throat, and it’s just the little extra stimulation I need to bring me to climax.

It’s such a weird feeling—to come in front of someone else. My body shivers and trembles, relaxation and peace flowing into my limbs, ears, and tail, bristling my fur in its wake. Rai sighs softly into my mouth, his eye closed, as though he is taking something from me. And he really only touched me lightly and kissed me twice.

I feel like a bit a mess—and a vulgar one at that. Plus, the reality of what I’ve just done comes flooding into me all at once—making me feel ashamed of myself. 

But really—was this all that different from what he’s seen me do before? I don’t know. I couldn’t really say. It just felt different because he’s here in person. And not only is he still here, but he’s also currently sending small tickling shivers down my back and into my shoulders by grooming my ears. It feels… weirdly comforting? Soothing? As if to say he’s pleased with me and I have no reason to be ashamed.

Plus, he’s purring—loudly—into my ear. But he’s only touching my chin with his hand and his ears with my lips.

“You’re absolutely enchanting,” he whispers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's as far as it goes for their first date. The next day, when Konoe sees Rai in class, he is mightily distracted and he can't concentrate on his assignment.

“That’s enough for today.”

Those were Rai’s last words—after he carried me over to my bed and roughly stripped off my jeans before tucking me under the covers—which sent a surprising fresh wave of arousal through my hips, even though I _just_ came.

But he doesn’t touch me anymore, though I can see he is still aroused. After kissing my nose, he tips his chin to the side, looking rather pleased with himself, and shows himself to the door, locking it behind him.

Now I’m lying in bed—and my math class is tomorrow morning. I feel quite nervous—though I should have felt much more nervous before _now_. Like when he was actually in my apartment. What was I thinking?

I mean, he’s my TA. He can’t really do anything to me, I know—I’m sure he’d get in trouble if he did anything I didn't want him to do and I said something about it. So I’m safe with him. Aren’t I?

After my initial anxiety attack, I do manage to sleep well, drifting off into a dreamless night. And I wake just before my alarm goes off.

Suddenly, I’m _more_ than nervous. My stomach is upset and fluttery—making me feel nauseated, as though I have a performance or something. And my gods, I _sang_ to him yesterday—but my song isn’t what bothers me the most. I did whatever he asked—just like I do online. I stripped off my clothes, touched myself, met his eye boldly—even stroked my tail—and all he did was kiss me.

By the time I’m on the train, I feel so nervous about seeing him again that I am making myself sick. I’m not sure what to do—like, should I even go to class today? I could go and pretend as though nothing happened. And who could I possibly tell? Tokino is in my class—and I’m sure he’d be concerned if I met Rai/Sterling in person—and he might be jealous if he knew what happened yesterday.

But really, what happened yesterday is that we _kissed_. I’ve already done those other things before. I just can’t figure out why I was so eager to do anything he asked. I’m almost upset by it. I shouldn’t have been that eager nor should I have been so compliant.

My body is physically shaking by the time I get to class. Tokino is waiting for me, and he perks up his ears when he sees me.

“Good morning! Oh—are you all right?”

“Oh, um, yeah. I’m just feeling a little under the weather this morning.” Shit—are my nerves that obvious? Won’t Rai be able to tell?

“Huh. I hope you’re okay, Konoe. I heard there’s a bad flu going around. Just take care of yourself, okay?”

“By the way, thanks a _lot_ for leaving me to the TA’s mercy the day before yesterday,” I grumble under my breath.

Tokino just smiles for a moment.

“Oh, I’m sure you _did_ appreciate it. You know, I could tell.”

My ears flatten. Does he know? Shit—how could he know?! And what exactly is it that he thinks he knows?

“You could tell what?” I almost don’t want to know what he means.

“That you were dying to spend some time alone with that silver-haired hottie. How’d it go?”

“It was… informative.” I leave it at that.

“Oh? Did he, um, _teach_ you anything of... _importance_?”

“Tokino!”

“What? You know, you’re not at _all_ subtle, what with all that drooling and your fluffy fur. It makes you rather distracting in class.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You _preen_ under his gaze, Konoe. I can _see_ it. The rest of the class can see it—that attention you crave—and I couldn’t help noticing that _he_ invited _you_. Are you going to tell me the way you caress him with your gaze _didn’t_ come up during office hours?” He’s definitely teasing me.

“It _didn’t_! And you’re full of shit.”

“I’m not, and you know it. I can’t wait to see what happens in class today…”

“Shut up,” I growl and I head into class.

Rai is already at the front desk, taking out a stack of papers from earlier in the week and his reading glasses. He has his hair pulled back in a ponytail today, and the longest strands still nearly reach the base of his fluffy tail. I remember vividly how warm and soft that tail was wrapped around mine. It felt so nice, and I’m staring. He looks up when I walk in and gives me a short but obvious smile.

I head to my chair and sit down, pulling out my notebook and calculator from my backpack. I am terribly distracted by the TA today. I can't stop looking at him. When I’m tapped briefly on my shoulder, I’m roused from my daze of staring at Rai, and I turn around. Tokino is smirking at me.

“Not at _all_ subtle,” he murmurs.

“Shut up.”

Class begins and it might be my imagination, but Rai keeps looking at me—and his pale blue gaze keeps lingering on me—or my tail—which I can’t seem to keep still. I try my best to behave myself, but I end up shifting around uncomfortably in my seat. I’m unpleasantly aroused and I’m ashamed for my body’s reaction. Really—I shouldn’t be ashamed since this isn’t something I can help. But I’m scared he’s going to notice.

I can’t help it, really. I can only think about sitting on my couch yesterday—touching myself—having him lean down and kiss me and oh, my gods… Another burst of arousal courses through me, sending a soft jolt through my body and ruffling my fur. I’m sure if anyone were looking at me at the moment, they’d be able to tell.

“Completely obvious,” I hear Tokino mutter under his breath. It makes me bristle up my fur in anger—or something.

I glance up at Rai’s voice, as he works out a problem on the board. It sounds so nice. Occasionally, he looks over his shoulder, and he calls on me as well, asking for assistance and participation. Thankfully, I’m paying attention today—but at the same time, I wonder what he sees when he looks at me.

He’s seen a _lot_ of me. Like, a _lot_. Does he think about the things I’ve done for him online? Like right now—is he thinking about that right _now_? Is that why he meets my eyes like that? Even the thought that he might be—and that perhaps even after our first class, he has been thinking about me in that light—it's an incredible turn-on.

Gods. I should be ashamed of myself. I feel like a bit of a pervert.

After solving the problem, Rai hands us back some papers, walking to my aisle and looking down at me. I have my eyes on my notebook on my desk, but they shift over to his feet. He’s wearing black combat boots today—not exactly professional attire, but equally as casual as any other graduate student on campus. I’m looking at those boots and I think, _shit, his feet are huge._

My ear is touched gently, and I jump, tearing my gaze away from the floor.

“Didn’t you hear me?” Rai asks softly. His eye is so pretty—no, he’s just incredibly handsome.

“Oh—um—sorry,” I mumble apologetically.

“Not _at all_ subtle,” I hear Tokino mutter behind me, and a blush floods my ears and cheeks. I bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying anything directly.

“I said, come see me after class in office hours. You need a little extra help before the midterm.”

“Yes, sir,” I return—and again, I’m shocked by my compliant response. What is wrong with me? Why do I just do anything and everything he says?

The rest of the class flies by—I’m amazed at how quickly it passes, actually. Soon, Rai dismisses us and packs up his bag, while looking directly at me.

“Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Tokino says in a low voice, bumping my hip as he walks out of class. He can be utterly annoying sometimes—but really I have no one to blame but myself.

“Come. I’ll walk with you.”

“Um, okay,” I say, feeling nervous.

“What? Do you have somewhere else you need to be?”

“N-no,” I am stammering rather ridiculously.

“Then come on.”

He also sort of assumes I’ll just go along with anything he says. I guess it’s a good assumption, though, since I am indeed going along with him.

We walk through the hallway of the math building and to the stairwell—which feels strangely deserted.

“After you,” he says, ushering me up the steps in front of him.

I make it up one and a half flights before my arm is grabbed suddenly, making all my fur fluff out broadly in surprise. I’m roughly pushed with my back against the wall, and he is standing with one foot on the step below me and the other on my same step, pressing his body against me.

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this to you,” he murmurs against my lips and then meets mine—taking me more aggressively than I expect at first. Almost as though he thinks I will try to escape the touch, actually. But then I soften my body, relax against the wall, and a soft purr spills from my body. I can’t help myself—and I eagerly return his kiss, reaching up into his silky hair and pulling him closer. He tastes sweet and he feels hot.

He smells so good, like summer rain. I hum softly as I return his kiss—I can’t help being a little vocal and pleased with his touch. When our lips part briefly, a small meow comes out of my mouth before he takes my lips again. Also, I can’t help noticing as he pushes his body up against me that he is erect. I wonder if he was in class today… and if he was, was it for the same reason I was?

His hair is incredibly thick, and it feels so soft even pulled back in the ponytail. I notice his face is framed with long, layered strands—and it briefly crosses my mind that he probably goes to get it cut like this specifically. He looks like a model—slender and muscular—and tall. And then, my hands glide down from his hair to his back and then rest at the waistband of his jeans. I’m utterly tempted to touch his ass. Instead, I settle for running my claws through the fur on his tail.

It’s soft and warm, comforting, almost. A quiet sigh escapes from his mouth between our lips, and I can feel the deep vibration of his body rumbling against me—his purr is utterly captivating.

And gods, we need to _stop_. Soon. Or I will get to a point I can’t back up from before I realize what’s happened. That’s when I decide I’m not afraid of him. I want more from him.

I deepen our kiss, nipping at his lips and tongue softly but aggressively, and I pull him closer to my body by his tail. I allow my claws to scrape down his waist and hips from the base of his tail, caressing his butt through the fabric of his jeans. He pushes against me hard—my hips against his, my back against the wall, and he squeezes the base of my tail and tilts my chin up just a little to change the angle of our kiss.

I hear a soft sound echoing in the stairwell—it sounds like a door closing and my fur bristles in fear. I hum softly, trying to get his attention, my eyes open wide—and I see his ears twitching. I know he heard it.

I’m afraid he won’t stop kissing me, and whoever is coming up the stairs is going to get a free view of what we’re doing right here. I meow softly, protesting his touch and trying to pull away.

He finally does pull away from my lips, just far enough to meet my gaze. He is smiling softly.

“Hmph,” he whispers. I can still feel his breath against me. “We’d better get to my office then.”

“Yeah,” I agree softly.

He nods his chin and backs up away from me, as though motioning for me to go upstairs. To my minor irritation, I comply again without protest. Why am I just doing everything he wants?

When we get to his office—he has a scheduled office hour from now till noon—he nods for me to sit at his desk.

“Let’s go over the homework from last week.”

My ears droop a little, and I hear a soft chuckle.

“You look so disappointed.”

“Oh, um, no,” I insist.

“You don’t hide your emotions very well,” Rai comments. “Like in class.”

I look up directly at his face. He’s sitting across the desk from me, and he leans forward. My ears bristle slightly at his tone.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“You were distracted.”

“Um…”

“What were you thinking about?”

“When?”

“In class today. What were you so distracted by?”

“I-i w-wasn’t…”

Rai quirks up his eyebrow slightly, urging me to be honest.

“J-just…”

Truthfully, I was utterly distracted by the fact that this gorgeous silver cat and Sterling are one and the same. I couldn’t believe it. And not just that—he has known my identity for the past three weeks and hasn’t said anything.

“J-just… why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“What should I have said?”

“W-well… that you knew me.”

“I think I did.”

Wracking my brain—perhaps it was on the second day of class, he did ask if he’d met me before. Of course, I wouldn’t have had any clue as to his identity. He has only ever seen me—and only _parts_ of me (intimate parts of me)—so I couldn’t have known what he meant.

“But you could have said something!”

“Well, I _could_ have been more direct. But then… would you have still entertained me?”

I sigh exasperatedly.

“Really. You don’t need me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You could have anyone you wanted,” I say, softly. “Why would you pay me for my attention? I never would have figured it out.”

“Not until you asked me to meet you in person.”

“And you knew I had a crush on you!” I told Sterling I thought my TA was hot! 

“Well, isn’t that fair? Honesty is a good thing,” Rai is smirking slightly. “Come on. Let’s see what you need help with.”

Taking out his reading glasses, he solves a few problems with me—and I take up his entire office hour and no other student stops by. It doesn’t surprise me. I wouldn’t have seen him in office hours if he hadn’t pulled me aside after class. He’s intimidating.

When the hour is up, he looks at me and says, “You don’t have any classes after mine.”

“I don’t. My classes are in the morning.”

“So. Do you have anywhere you need to be?”

“Why?”

He gets up from the desk and walks over to the door. When I hear the lock click, a bolt of lust shoots through my body, making me shudder with desire. Even the soft sound of the lock turning is enough. My erection comes back full force and even more desperate than before. I hardly know what to do, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

“You were doing that during class today. Can I make an assumption as to why?”

“Um…” A flush fills my cheeks and my ears, and I’m a little embarrassed. I look down shyly.

He walks up to my chair, leaning down over me and meeting my lips. To my surprise, one of his hands goes straight to my crotch. I shiver with pleasure—goosebumps rising on my skin and my fur bristling. My tail fluffs out behind me and waves wantonly, and a soft mewling sound spills from my mouth.

“Hmm,” he says softly, pulling away from my mouth long enough to meet my gaze. “I thought as much.”

His words aren’t particularly dirty, but they send a flash of heat through my body and I jerk slightly, reaching up to him and pulling him closer to me. _More_ , I think. I want him to touch me more.

But maybe this isn’t the ideal location. My mind is flooded with strain and anxiety, and it momentarily takes over my desire and lust.

“Mmm, don’t you share your office with another student?” I ask nervously.

“If I did, what would you do?”

“Wait, _do_ you?” I ask, a little more insistently. The last thing I want is another grad student walking in on us.

“You’re so nervous. It’s cute,” Rai purrs softly, and he reaches for my belt.

“Um… wait…”

“What? You don’t want me to touch you?”

“It’s not that…”

“What then? You need to be specific. If you don’t want me to touch you more, you should stop meowing so sweetly. It’s utterly too tempting.”

“I can’t really help it,” I say—after I meow again.

“It’s adorable—and sexy because I know you can’t help it.”

“What if someone comes in?” I ask, keeping my gaze down. I can’t help noticing how utterly attractive his hand looks on my belt buckle. It’s a strange sight.

“What if someone _did_ come in?”

“Um… well, I wouldn’t want to risk your job…”

“Don't worry. If there was any risk at all, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

As if to make his point, he strokes his claws across my crotch. They make a strange sound against my jeans and it feels amazing. A soft gasp escapes my mouth. I don’t know if I should trust him or not but if my body has any say, I’m definitely ignoring my rational thoughts. My purr is so loud in this small space—and I can almost smell my own scent—which is a little weird. I smell slightly sweet and of some sort of summer flower, I think. Mixing with his scent makes it utterly irresistible.

But _here_? Should we really be messing around in his office?

At this point, I don’t care. I just want to feel his hands on me.

One of his hands slips up under my shirt, stroking my belly and the soft fur beneath my navel then travels up to my collar underneath the fabric. It makes me keen and purr and sigh, and every sound coming out of me is lewd and vulgar. And strangely—I feel that same melody humming beneath my skin as though he is pulling it from me.

I know he hears it—since his ears twitch obviously. Then he pulls away from me again.

“Perhaps you should get more comfortable.”

A shiver rushes through my fur when he makes that suggestion—in that tone and those words. In truth, when I’d read that phrase before during our chats, I heard my TA’s voice speaking them, almost as though I wished him into being Sterling.

And then I realize what he means. He has pulled his hands from me and is watching me. Wait a minute. He wants me to take off my clothes? I perk up my ears and he smirks back at me.

“What? You know what I mean.” His tone is sultry and flirty—exactly how I imagined he’d be in person. It’s almost eerie.

“Here?”

“Well, what exactly were you expecting? I know you didn’t come here for help with your homework.”

I look down for a minute, slightly embarrassed. I’m not sure what I should do. Until he speaks again.

“I want to see you.”

His voice is filled with desire—spoken softly—and it makes my insides go liquid and hot. My heart flutters so fast I’m afraid it might come out of my mouth, and I glance up at his face. He nods his chin gently, as though expecting me to comply, and I feel a slight resistance deep in my core. But then, my hands move to my belt and unbuckle it—just like that—they move all on their own.

When I cross my arms and grab the hem of my shirt, a small wave of pleasure courses through my body. I feel like my body wants to show itself off. I like being gazed at and longed for. But more than anything I want him to touch me more.

I look up at his handsome face, and he licks his lips. The way he’s looking down at me… and then how he drags his claws down my throat, looking at me as though he wants to devour me—and he leans down and kisses my chin and my throat, leaving a damp trail of light kisses, licks, and nips to my collarbone.

“Go on,” he purrs softly, letting one of his hands brush against mine and moving it down to my waistband.

I let him move my hands, but I suddenly become very aware of exactly how undressed I am—and how uneven the situation is—and a soft purring mewl escapes my mouth. His ears fluff up when he hears it.

“You don’t want to?”

“N-no… I _do_ … just… maybe not here?”

“You were eager in the stairwell." After a short pause, he continues, "Do you want to go back to my place?”

I swallow thickly—and I realize my head is nodding—almost helplessly. He looks at me and smirks—but it doesn’t look mean. Just filled with anticipation, really. He pulls my belt tight and buckles it, pulling me up to stand and against his chest. His arms feel warm and safe wrapped around me—and I almost think it might be all right to touch him _here_. He also pulls my tee-shirt back on over my head and helps me finish getting dressed.

“Then let’s go.”

Amazed at what I’m doing, I follow him out of his office and back down the stairs. I don’t even see my friend Tokino—who watches me follow him away from the math building. I feel giddy with desire and am finding it hard to walk. Once we head out into the main quad, I realize I’ve left my bag in his office.

“Ah—my bag!” I also left all my homework out on his desk.

"You won’t need it. We’ll get it later.” He turns around to glance at me over his shoulder, his blue eye sparkling and full of mischief. “Unless you think you’re coming over to do some more problems…”

I return his smile and look down, feeling my ears blush. He reaches out and brushes my ears with his hand—right here in the middle of the quad—taking me by surprise. But it feels nice, so I hurry along to catch up with his long gait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe follows his TA back to his apartment. Konoe doesn't learn anything else about calculus in this chapter.
> 
> There is consensual sex and relationship negotiation in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my slow updates. Between the holidays and a rather painful medical procedure, I'm finding it hard to find inspiration for several of my works. But it seems I need to write to live, so I'll work it out.

Rai lives in a small apartment just off-campus. It’s hard to tell if it’s graduate student housing or its own complex but I see quite a few older students here—at least a few years older than me. The silver cat nods his head to a few of the students walking to class, who return his greeting. I keep my eyes down after the first two students grin at me.

I wonder if he brings people back to his place all the time. The thought sends an expectant little shiver down my spine. And that’s when I realize exactly what it is I am here to do. I start to get very nervous and my walk becomes a little stiff.

Of course, Rai notices right away and he makes a soft comment.

“What’s the matter? You don’t have to be so nervous.”

“Oh, I’m not.” It’s an obvious lie, and Rai just smiles.

“You know,” he says, putting an arm over my shoulder so he can pull me a little closer when we walk. He speaks directly into my ear, his voice slipping like honey through my fur. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do. Don’t be scared.”

I bristle up even further, feel another shiver down my back, and I turn my head to look at him. He’s wearing a slight smirk. Is he teasing me?

We walk up another flight of steps—and he kisses me in the stairwell about midway again—as if to remind me exactly why I followed him home—and I let my body just relax in his arms, run my fingers through his fur and hair, and I sigh softly when I return the kiss. He really does taste perfect—I never knew that other cats would taste nice—his taste is _enticing_.

“Hmm,” he hums softly, pulling back just enough to meet my gaze. “It would appear mating season is just around the corner.”

“Mating season?”

“You’ve been through one before, haven’t you?”

I haven’t, actually. I was in Karou and living a fairly isolated life. I do remember the schools closing for about a week in the fall and the summer for “the season,” as they called it. But I never experienced any symptoms myself.

“I don’t think so,” I admit.

“Ah. You’re in for a treat. Though the university doesn’t give you time off, unfortunately. I’d better make sure you’re marked well before then.”

“Marked?” My ears flatten a little. That makes me nervous.

“Yes. Don’t look at me like that. I mean _grooming_ you. If I leave my scent on you, other students will leave you alone. Wouldn’t that be nicer than the alternative?”

“What alternative?” I ask, following Rai up the last little bit up the stairs.

“You are already a distraction in my class. I’m not the only one who has their eyes on you. And they are probably just waiting for the mating season to start so they have an excuse to come after you, whether you’re compatible or not.”

I’m a little surprised to hear this.

“Come after me?”

“You’re a noisy little cat,” Rai says as he opens the door. It doesn’t escape my attention at how he has to fish around in his tight jeans pocket for a key. Gods, he has a nice ass. “Welcome.”

“Thanks for having me,” I say. But really, I’m curious about what he meant about the mating season. “What do you mean by other students ‘coming after’ me?”

“I meant exactly what I said. Some students are less scrupulous during the season, and you may be ambushed outside or in the hallway. If you are touched with someone else’s scent on you, that should discourage them from pulling you out into the bushes and taking advantage. It may not discourage them completely, so I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you.”

“I’m sure I’ll be _fine_.” I bristle a little at the idea I might _need_ his (or anyone's) protection. I lived alone for so long I haven’t ever relied on anyone else. Requiring someone else’s protection for a season that happens twice yearly is ridiculous.

“Oh? Will you?” Rai traps me against the door, pressing up against me again. “What if a cat my size pinned you against the wall? Or three cats came after you all at once with the intention of taking turns with you?” His claws skate down my sides gently and he lowers his lips to my ears.

“Um…” I’m finding it a little hard to reply with how he is licking my ears.

“I thought so,” he murmurs softly. “I can help. Let me. In the meantime, let me remind you why you’re here.”

Another shiver ruffles down my spine, and my fur fluffs out fully.

“Gods, you’re adorable. Take off your shoes. You can leave them at the door.”

He also slips out of his own boots and helps me out of mine, letting me use him to steady myself.

The inside of the apartment is neat and spartan—I don’t see any personal items or photos—except weirdly what looks like a life-size sword and dagger pinned to the wall in their sheaths. A family heirloom, maybe? Decoration? Maybe he knows how to fight as a hobby? He does reenactments? (That would be incredibly nerdy, I think, not withholding my judgment.) However, I remind myself, he is a _math_ graduate student. It doesn't get much nerdier than that.

He pulls me into the living room and sits on the couch. He keeps me standing in front of him, however, between his legs. I can tell he’s aroused if I even glance down slightly.

“You smell nice,” Rai says, meeting my gaze.

I smile and look down—trying to look at my feet but instead, my gaze gets distracted by his jeans and his lap. I can’t help looking. He’s intimidatingly large—if that is what I think it is. Would that really fit inside me? And is that what we are about to do?

“So. I have a proposal since you seem so nervous.”

“I’m not, really…” I don’t even convince myself this time, and my chin is touched lightly so I have to meet his icy blue gaze. He just smiles at me—somewhat indulgently.

“Listen. I know this is new to you, and I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for. So perhaps we need a system.”

“System?” I ask doubtfully. This does sound like a math student's idea, I have to admit.

“Yes. A word that you will say when things are approaching your limit, or a word you will say when you want me to stop our activities.”

Is he talking to me about safewords? Of course, I know what safewords are. I have access to the internet, after all. What exactly is he planning on doing to me?!

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Rai whispers when he sees my expression. “Don’t be afraid. And if I make you uncomfortable, I will always, always listen to your safeword. That way, you can act as resistant and hesitant as you want, but I will continue until I hear your safeword.”

Act _resistant_? I am _not_ acting! I’m offended.

“What’s with that look?”

“It’s _not_ an act!”

“So, you really wanted me to stop kissing you in the hallway? Or in the office?”

“Well…” He has a point. Maybe I _am_ acting. Just a little.

“I don’t mind your shyness. I just want to be sure I’m not overstepping.”

“All right,” I say. I still am slightly concerned.

“You look like you’ve just agreed to have sex with me in the quad,” Rai chuckles.

“Are you going to ask me to do that?!” I ask nervously.

“Of course not,” Rai says, and then much more quietly, he adds, “ _today_.”

“I heard that!”

“I’m teasing. Just relax. So you know what your safeword means? And you can use it? If for some reason you can’t speak, tap me twice with your finger. And if your hands are bound”—oh, my gods, exactly what is he planning to do to me?!—“hum a little bit of your song. I’ll stop and check in.”

“You, um, want to bind my hands?” I ask skeptically. I'm also distracted by the fact he said I might not be able to speak at all. What exactly does he have in mind? It’s a hell of a good thing we left his office when we did!

“Do you want me to?” Rai whispers. “It might be nice—especially if they were bound in front of your body. You could still move but you wouldn’t have to worry about scratching me.”

“Um, I see.” I’m trying _hard_ not to imagine a scenario in which I would unintentionally (or intentionally) scratch the gorgeous silver cat. It excites me more than I can say. “So what word?”

“Because it’s you, I figure something math-related, but perhaps not calculus. It will pull us both out of the situation. Say, ‘SOACOATOA’ when you want me to stop.”

I quirk up an eyebrow.

“Are you sure you’re not going to find that sexy?” I ask suspiciously.

“What?”

“Me, your lowest-performing student, yelling ‘SOACOATOA’ at the top of my lungs during… whatever we will be doing?”

Rai smiles.

“Actually, I can’t guarantee that I won’t find it sexy. But I still want to hear you say it.”

“I see,” I reply nervously.

“Today, I have something specific in mind. I want to continue what we were doing in my office. Are you game?”

“Um… I think so?”

Rai reaches out to my hips, bringing his claws around the front on either side, caressing my obvious erection through the fabric of my jeans. It makes a strange scratching sound and raises all the hair on my body. A soft sound slips out of my mouth, and gods—I think it was a meow!

“It _looks_ like you are game.”

A heavy blush fills my ears. Does he always tease like this? I wish I could say I disliked it but when his gaze travels up my body to my cheeks and ears, I really can’t. He may be teasing but he _wants_ me.

“It _really_ looks like you are game,” he repeats.

I nod.

“Good. Now strip for me.”

I jerk my chin slightly. It isn’t as though I haven’t already done much more for him in the past—even just a half an hour ago in his office, I was about to strip out of my jeans and had already stripped off my shirt. So why is this so nerve-wracking?

A soft chuckle comes from the cat in front of me while I am hesitating.

“I want to see you.”

Again, in a flash, that melting hot sensation floods my insides, sending arousal to every corner of my body. My claws draw, my fangs bare, and my nose is flooded with his clean scent. It smells even more like fresh summer rain in his apartment, and it makes my mouth water.

I pull my shirt off overhead, as I have for him many times before—and I watch his pupil dilate wide and dark before returning to the more predatory gaze of his pupil contracting to a slim needle. I like that I can affect such a gorgeous cat this way—but it feels utterly unreal.

I move my hands to my belt and I don’t waste any time. I unbuckle it but leave it in the belt loops, and I unbutton and unzip my jeans, pushing them off my waist. They are snug—I wore slim-fitting jeans to class today, possibly hoping he’d look at me and become distracted in class.

“Mmm. Did you wear those for me?”

I nod slowly, stepping out of my pants and leaving them on the back of the chair behind me. I’m standing in my silk boxers now—a pair of black ones. I can feel everything now that my jeans are off—including his drawn claws over the top of the fabric. He’s not scratching me, just dragging his claws over the front of my underwear. Then he moves his claws to my belly and the fur just below my navel, combing through the silky strands.

“This part of you is particularly gorgeous.”

I blush again when he speaks to me—and I can’t help noticing that he still has his clothes on while I am nearly naked.

“Why don’t you help me get a little more comfortable?”

I don’t delay—though my fingers are shaking. I grab the hem of his tee and pull it off overhead, brushing my claws against his abs and chest. I’m a little startled when I see what is underneath that shirt—though I shouldn’t be surprised. I could feel how muscular he was underneath his clothes when he pinned me against the wall earlier. He is gorgeous—sculpted more like a model or an athlete (or a god) than a graduate student. I swallow the saliva building in my mouth and look at the fur just below his navel—fine and soft and silver, but longer than mine, like the fur on his tail. I have an extreme urge to groom it.

However, instead, I reach for his belt—hearing a strange sound fill up the room. It’s a loud, vulgar, wet purr—coming from me in short bursts along with my breath. It’s a rhythmic and comforting sound—though it’s mine, it relaxes me and makes me feel like I belong here. There’s part of me that really doesn’t think I belong here… with him.

I leave the belt in the loops and unzip and unbutton his jeans. He’s still sitting so I won’t be able to pull off his jeans without his help. But then he stands up and gives me a hand—and shortly thereafter I lose my orientation completely. Blinking and confused, I find myself on the couch on my back with his body straddling me and pinning me in place.

“You know your safeword, don’t you?” Rai asks.

I nod, but I’m nowhere close to needing it. I love how he feels—powerful and strong—like he could do whatever he wanted to me… and the desire and lust that courses through my limbs and my groin when I think of this frighten me more than anything he could ever do to me, I think. Gods, I _want_ this!

He leans down and kisses me—hard—like he was doing in the stairwell of the math building, pressing his body against mine, letting his weight pin me in place while he runs his hands down my body, tracing my sides, my hips, my tail, my ass, with his claws. It feels so good—and my purr gets even louder, occasionally a soft mewling sound escaping my mouth, which is immediately swallowed up by his lips.

He is purring softly, but the frequency is lower than mine. The sounds mixing in the air are enticing—making a rhythm in my heart. I don’t know what to do with my overwhelming feelings—all these sensations—and I just relax into them and let myself enjoy them. I try to stay present—but my feelings quickly overwhelm me, making my hands tremble and my body shiver.

“Relax,” he reminds me and I let my body soften. My stomach muscles were flexed as though resisting him, but softening them makes me feel more submissive and dominated… and I really don’t dislike it. It’s a strange sensation and it makes me feel safe. I run my claws through the fur on his ears—they are so soft and silky—and I want to lick them.

I get my chance when he shifts slightly, moving his lips from my mouth to my jaw and throat—leaving a soft trail of kisses, licks, and nips in his wake. When he reaches my collarbone, a soft sound spills from my lips again—and I lower my mouth to his ears. He is stroking my nipples—and I know I have touched them in front of the camera for him before—but having _him_ touch me is a completely different sensation. I meow softly into one of the softly rounded ears in my mouth, pulling it between my lips and grazing the edge with my fangs.

Surprisingly, I feel a soft shiver from the cat above me, and his reaction heats me up even further. _I_ made him shiver. My _touch_ is what is making him react. I love the feeling!

It occurs to me that what we are doing here is much more intimate than anything I was doing online. There is no comparison. I can see his reactions—feel them—and I can’t believe I tried to tell myself yesterday that it was nothing different from what I’d already done for him on camera.

I gasp aloud when I feel his fingers touching my cock directly—he has been toying with the waistband of my underwear for a while—and now, he has slipped the elastic down enough to allow my cock to spring free. It feels amazing—having him stroke me—it’s nothing like when I touch myself. He uses much more care and deliberation—as though exploring me, as though trying to determine what touch will make me respond the most. I am dripping precum vulgarly, and he uses the liquid to smooth out the touch of his fingers.

His purr has lowered somewhat and become a little breathier—almost like a growl—and it ignites some sort of instinct in me. It almost feels like fear, but somehow it fits the situation and my desire. I still want him to touch me more.

“ _Please_ …”

Gods—that was _me_! I am begging him! My face flushes again, my heart throbs loudly in my ears, and he leans up to kiss me once more.

When his lips touch mine, something changes with how he is touching my cock. I suddenly feel something harder and hotter pushing against my erection, and he shifts his weight to his lower body, pressing me into the couch. He pulls my tail out from behind me first, however, letting his claws comb through my fur out to the hooked tip.

I lean back on the seat of the couch, stretching up my neck and letting a gasp of pleasure escape along with another soft meow. It’s hot—he feels good if a little stifling—and I know that it’s his cock pushing against me. He kisses me more roughly now—slowly and deliberately, like the touch of hands on my body—but firm and determined, and his purr lowers even further.

It sends a strange shivering sensation through my heart—making it flutter like a bird in my chest—and that liquid melting feeling from earlier heats up. I almost hear something like a drop in a pond—and my song suddenly spills from my body. It’s a helpless, vulnerable sensation—like the meows that escape my mouth, I can’t resist the temptation to sing. It’s as if my body is being forced to sing and respond and let out the feelings I have inside me without restraint.

The melody that spills from me is sweet and sticky, warm and gooey—just like my insides. It’s incredibly sexy—a sexier song than I have ever heard—but it is a song just for this silver cat. My body feels warm and light—almost like I’m floating—as I watch slim tendrils of light flow from the tips of my fingers into the silver hair, touching his skin, lighting up the small space between us.

His eye glows almost gold under the warm light, and his fangs show over his lips, which are curved up in a sincere smile. He is making my heart beat faster—throbbing and pounding in my ears—and it seems my heart is what is keeping time in the melody coming from me.

And the sensations in my groin are quickly overwhelming me. Once my song is loose, my body relaxes and all traces of reticence dissolve completely. There’s nowhere else I would rather be, and no one I’d rather touch me this way… and I just revel in the sensations. He feels amazing.

Everything—from how the long strands of hair brush against my throat and my chest, the ragged breath against my mouth, the purr rumbling my bones, his hands touching me and my hands wrapping around his back and trying to grab his tail—is in the right place. My song quickly reaches a crescendo and I realize I’m about to climax.

And I’m lying on his couch. It’s possible he doesn’t want me to cum all over his furniture. Just a tiny bit of hesitance rears its head, making me stammer softly.

“Rai… I’m close…”

He hums in assent and starts pressing against me harder, grabbing the base of my tail and rubbing it backward. I bristle all my fur and all the hair on my body stands on end, and my claws draw against his back. I lift up my hips, pressing them against his even harder, though I can’t even raise my body off the couch because he is too heavy and strong.

White flashes in my vision and I moan out loud—almost a scream, I think, which will embarrass me terribly later. But I can’t help it—the pleasure spilling through my body is too great and too intense for me to stop it at this point. My heart lifts and my chest feels light—and my limbs tingle with pleasure.

And within just a few seconds of my release, I feel his cock throb and he climaxes as well, using the cum to continue gently stroking us together. It leaves me breathless and helpless and shivering—and desperate for connection.

Once he stops, he lifts his body from on top of me and gets up from the couch—there is a brief moment in which I feel utterly empty and alone. I don’t want him to move, actually—but he has just gone to fetch a towel, with which he carefully wipes down my body. He quickly scoops me up and walks me over to the bed, licking my ears with aggression and passion—almost in a fervor. It makes me feel like I am home—even when I’m not in my own place. It’s this cat who makes me feel like home.

After indulging so much in pleasure, my entire body is relaxed—and sometime along the way, my song stopped as well. Everything feels right with the world. Despite the overstimulation on my ears, I relax. I can’t help it. I drift off to sleep, surrounded by the warmth of his body and his scent.


End file.
